On facebook, I get requests all the time to “pick my 5” for the day – the 5 things I can’t leave the house without, the 5 best places to vacation, etc. In trying to decide where to start in the world of blogging, I discovered that 5’s were not a bad place to start. So here’s my first list of 5’s for you.
The 5 things I wish I knew when I first got my child’s diagnosis.
- I am not alone. You are not alone. Don’t feel like you alone understands your situation. However, within your circle of friends and relatives, you may be alone. Reach out, find others with similar diagnoses in their families and seek their advice.
- My child still is an extension of me. Your child is still an extension of you. Regardless of the circumstances you find your child in, you are allowed to continue to hope that the best that is in you has been genetically and environmentally passed down to your child. The same spirit within you that drives you to not quit on your child is the same spirit that lives within your child that drives them to not quit on you.
- I will spend a lot of time and great sums of money panicking to get the “best” for my child. You will spend a lot of time and great sums of money panicking to get the “best” for your child. Breathe. Relax. Plan. Rome was not built in a day. Your situation will not be resolved today. Or at your next pediatrician’s appointment. Slow down your pace and prepare for a longer run.
- I will not be prepared for the grief involved. You will not be prepared for the grief involved. The Kübler-Ross model for grief is denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Sometimes your grief will not be in that order. Sometimes, you’ll go backwards in the model. It is natural to grieve.
- My child and I will get through this and both come out stronger. You and your child will get through this and come out stronger. Kids with diagnoses and parents and siblings who support them are special people. Know that your life may feel like a rocky climb, but the view at the top (or even during stops in the climb) can be quite spectacular. Take a moment every now and then to reflect at how far you have come.
I hope you find my blogs this year to be informative and inspiring. For now, I bid you safe journeys, good choices, and well being.